From Hauptbahnhof to Leinestrasse -- Leipzig’s shadow in the sun

     The first day I arrived in Leipzig, the sky was gloomy and the weather was cool. My new friend Helen and I got on the tram with our big suitcases from Hauptbahnhof(main train station), it took us half an hour to get to Leinestrasse—where we need to be, and another twenty minutes to find our student dorm. When we had everything done and were ready to eat, it was getting dark and it started to drizzle. Everything didn’t seem fine, we were hungry and tired foreign strangers who walked on the lonely street trying to find somewhere for food, but there was barely a person, not mention an open restaurant! That just reminded me of the scene I read on the first page of Jana Hensel’s book After the wall—“We didn’t see a single soul”. Yes, that’s my first impression of Leipzig — damp and cheerless, and I didn’t like it.
    Germany’s character in stereotypes is a combination of strength and tenderness. Of course, their complicated history and the hard accent of their language always make people feel German people cold and distant; on the other hand, the classical music, the fairy-tale and the beautiful landscape are so opposite. As one important part of formal GDR (German Democratic Republic), what on earth is Leipzig like? It was just “damp and cheerless”? In the following four weeks, I changed my mind.
      


      Every day on the way between dorm and school, sitting on the tram, I could see people getting on and off and walking on the street; I also watched nice views of the city through the window —it was really a great trip of a culture show—I truly got involved in the Leipziger’s life rather than only being a tourist. I was so attracted by its dark and lovely sides. “Hard-core”, but not in a bad way; “intense”, but natural –that’s what I felt about Leipzig. Here I am going to write down a few representatives of what I saw from Hauptbahnhof to Leinestrasse, which are Goth, graffiti, old constructions and some miscellaneous daily life scenes, and how they impressed me on my mind between Chinese, American and German three cultures.

1. Goth

     It’s quite normal to see very different people, like hippies, street punks, hipsters, or Goths with the business folks dressing suits on the same tram. And among these, Goth was the one interested me most.

      First, what is Goth?

     White face, black lipstick, wild colored hair, mostly dressed in black, the coolest crowd ever—that is my first thought—I had seen people like that once in Switzerland and many times in movies, but never be so close to them in real life until now, in Leipzig, Germany.

        Actually, there is no specific definition of what Goth is or not. My first thought was just a typical gothic stereotype. Even on looks, there are some differences. For example, Voltaire, author of What is Goth, tried to not seriously put Goth into some categories like “Romantic Goths” (a),who like to dress in elegant Victorian clothing;“Death Rockers”(b), who tend to dress more punk; “Cyber Goths” (c),who wear more futuristic clothing and generally have facial piercings; and so on. Even though different Goths differ in some way, they are all bond by loneness, depression and hopelessness (Phillips), which we can connect to darkness, blood, and the beauty of pain….

            I can clearly remember one scene on the tram one day, a young Gothic couple who dress like “Death Rocker” stood right beside me in the middle of the walkway, were kissing. That was a very long and deep kiss, I felt so embarrassed that I turned my face to the window. But I could not help taking a small peek, I was attracted, not by the love from the kiss, but something else which was more intense—the fearless of their action; then I noticed that the girl was quite short that she was stepping on the guy’s feet, who was wearing a big pair of gothic boots of course(see the picture on the left) —that was the moment that I felt a sudden shock. Yes, I sat so close to them, but they were so “far away” from me. Right, that’s Goths, “they share the belief that freethinking and self-creativity are the most vital human freedom”(Phillips). Then a feeling of complication came to me—admiration for what they’re, doubt for what I am, loss for what I have lost.

       I had long assumed that “Gothic” was part of German culture since I knew it, I don’t know why, probably just thought only German was cool enough to have it. So it didn’t surprise me at all when I confirmed the fact that Germany has become the center hub for Gothic subculture; but actually “before then it had always been Great Britain, where in the early 1980s it had emerged from Punk” (Erkart 549). And later during mid 80s, Gothic became on its own, completed with its own graphic art, literature, music and fashion. Members of an emerging subculture in Germany were called Grufties (German Goth) started to grow, and they formed the early stages of the "dark culture".

        Today, East Germany has already have two-thirds of the Gruftie (Phillips). I also heard from some Leipzig college students saying that “West Germany is less hard-core than East Germany”. Well, why did modern Gothicism bloom in Germany and why was East Germany more “hard-core”? As I mentioned before, looking back into its complicated history—from Weimar Republic, Nazism, Communism until the reunited Germany, all it happened in less than 100 years, East Germans did struggle through radical changes and brain washings. “After the wall”, as Jana Hensel said in her book, her entire generation (who were born in 70s) arose because their nation disappeared—“That’s what defines us: absence”—for them, everything has changed(Hensel 164).

       I also clearly remembered the vivid descriptions on Jana’s childhood—young pioneer in uniform, flag saluting every morning, the “class solidarity ” slogan, the ideological education that children were taught that they were supposed to study well and grow up to be a useful person to the state(Jana)—Yes, of course I remember, because it was also my childhood. I still remembered the class scene in my elementary school, everybody had to put their arms and hands straight on the desk where the teachers could see, and thrust out their chest, sit tight. If they didn’t do that, they broke the discipline, they would be blamed. Yes, there was no freedom, but only discipline--that’s how a kid grew up in a Communism society. Well, even now, after spending two years in western countries, I still don’t feel wrong about that, because I was raised up like that, and in Chinese culture, it was supposed to be like that. But in Germany? I’m not judging the communist’ life style, but I, as a Chinese international student who live one life in three—Chinese, American, and European--do understand the feeling of complications or say contradiction between the past and the present, the tradition and the new. After the fall of the Wall, after truly being part of western culture, how could the East German get over the history so fast that to be natural and right in their happy freedom? 

       Deane and David Heller said in their book: “Not surprisingly, the deprivation of human rights which The Wall represents—the barring of Western scientific and cultural contacts, the inability to escape from the incessant barrage of ‘hate the west’ propaganda—have twisted and perverted the lives of unfortunate people of East Germany in striking ways”(Heller 213) Apparently, East German chose Gothicism this dark path for a reason. Life was just not easy in there, “For them, joining the Gothics, dressing in strange ways and listening to strange music with lyrics about death, might be a way of transcending their individual lives and thus freeing themselves from the burden of an unsatisfactory and scary reality”(Eckart 549).

 
These scenes seem more accepted in Europe—particularly in Germany, which hosts Wave Gothic Treffen--the World’s largest annual festival for “dark culture”--in Leipzig.

      However, not only one dark exist in Germany. Just like Goths, Graffiti is another sub-culture which is quite popular among young people, and also a art from quite common to be seen in the whole country.

 

 

 

2. Graffiti and street art

       “It was not the gangster image of that movement, but its very idealistic tone that interested me. Graffiti was a somewhat underground culture for a lot of people, and knowing that there’s something there but not being able to see it from the outside made it very attractive”. Says Lafayette, who is a college student from Rostock ,northern Germany (Siegel). It looked like graffiti did become a mysterious and cool art in young people’s mind.

      Though Germany was known as a very clean country, and German was considered to be careful and responsible, they still sometimes confused me. I was often thinking and looking out through the tram window, the street was clean, the city planning was also neat, the gardening was so pretty, how could this kind of place be full of Graffiti on the wall, on the car, even on the roof? That was just somewhat incongruous, isn’t it?

      Besides the reason come from that college student in the previous statement, I figured out another one for seeing all graffiti covered walls in Germany, especially in East Germany. As we all know, graffiti often has a reputation as part of a subculture that rebels against authority. Just like the reason for gothic subculture’s blooming, German has absolutely their right to be rebel. Let’s see, Berlin has become world-famous because of its international architecture and cultural diversity. Moreover, it was rated as one of the best places for street art. So a lot of German accepts and support graffiti not only because of their rebellious spirit, but also because of the graffiti painted on the Berlin Wall, some of which was the most famous work in the world (Roig). And that was already part of who they are, and they are proud of it.

      However, not all the street art was art, some of the graffiti in Leipzig were just scribbles, or maybe scribbling with free will was also kind of art.
      Following the route going to Leinestrasse, we are being away from the city center little by little. Not for a while, I could totally smell the decadence and rebirth from those construction—

3. Abandoned building & those which are under construction

  







I had always been wondering if there were any shadows of socialism remaining in this city. Eventually, I found some very familiar images—the buildings under construction. Actually I really hated that when I was in China, because there were new building being built every day in the city, and in the same time there were also many of them were tore down. I hated it because it was a waste of building materiel and it was not environment-friendly--with all that noises and pollutions. However people kept doing that to make money. But who said only new buildings can make money? That’s why I liked it here, in Leipzig, it was different—there was no tearing down, the old ones stayed where they were and renovated into the new ones.

  Leipzig could also be odd. Sometimes, a few nice restored structures standing right next to the ugliest, most run-down, abandoned buildings covered with graffiti and every second window smashed. And sometimes this kind of building was full of a certain street, it looked like that time just stopped on that street.

   Ironically, in the city center of Berlin, the old building which reflected old days were gone little by little. For example, the Palace of the Republic, which was considered as an integral part of Berlin's culture, was demolished since the year of 2006, and now it was totally gone. People actually appealed to save the Palace at the beginning, but 880 petitions were rejected. There were many other similar cases. It’s true that “The former East Germany made significant contributions to modern architecture. Today, they would be historical landmarks full of insights into life in the GDR. But many have been lost.”(Richter)

     Besides Goth, Graffiti and old buildings, there’re some other tiny things in daily life got my attention, they might be so tiny that not worth mentioning, but I found them special and lovely—

4. Miscellaneous observations about daily life 

• Baby carriage

     That was one lovely morning, we were on the tram going to the language school. We were tired and quiet, and maybe still struggling with German grammar somehow in our brains. Suddenly a middle-aged lady got on the tram with her big baby carriage, it was like a sun light streaming into our sights—there were eight babies in the carriage! They were all well dressed in cute colors, they looked so innocent and lively, one of them were sucking a nipple, and one of them were staring at me with her big beautiful eyes, it looked like she had never seen an Asian before! I felt excited but also shy by her straight look actually. There were not so many passengers at that time, but we were all watching these little lives; our K-State group was waken up, we stared to talk and smile. At that moment, I thought life was so sweet, I felt myself full of energy. I didn’t know why, but I knew it was the moment I realized I was already in love this city. 

• Flower and wine

      I was surprised to see many flower shops around the cities, they were everywhere—at the Hauptbahnhof, in front of the school, near the restaurant…. It’s not that we don’t have flower shops in China, but not like this. In a Chinese flower shop, all the flowers look so delicate, maybe even a little bit ornate, that you think they must come from some far-away greenhouse and were taken care of by professional gardeners. But here, the small flower just looked adorable but not distant; they were more like the girl next door than a pretty but proud princess. I thought that was just part of German’s characters—they love nature and they were close to nature. 

       What is also important in a picnic besides flowers? Wine, right. I had never thought wine could be so cheap here. 1.5 Euros equate a bottle of German wine? Mineral water could be more expensive than expensive than that here which was so strange. Or maybe we should get used to that— beer, wine & German.

       At the end of this paper, I have to say, Leipzig really surprised me. I was no more the Chinese girl who was interested in the Germans’ grimness in the movie or in a fairytale imagines a magic story. I was there, in Leipzig, in East Germany, I found the special characteristic in German culture--an integration of hard-core and elegance--the historical rudiment on the buildings, the distinctive and colorful sub-culture, and the natural romantic tinge from people’s daily life. These are what I had learned from the mass media, but it’s quite a different experience after living in the real life once. After all, German are not cold-blooded, they would help me find my way when I got lost, they would try to speak English with me when my German stuck. And their free and romantic mind makes their life more personable.

      Maybe there are always a couple of unread historical pages alive in East German’s memory, but the modern life do bring more vitality and changes, and it only make East Germany grow better and better. Then the shadow of the past spontaneously becomes a kind of charm and beauty in the sun of today.

Before the Germany trip —— academic & personal goals

   

       Actually I didn’t really feel like I was going to Germany until yesterday, which is already the last weekend before I leave the U.S. Maybe my experience in Switzerland before was telling me not to be devoted into this trip so soon--dreaming of a trip in Europe trip is romantic, but doing it is not so true; it could be exhausting, unexpected and disappointing, especially to the newcomers. Germany and I are both new to each other, but looking on the bright side, I’m not a completely a rookie. I spent almost one year in Europe when I was 16 years old, and I just finished my first year in the U.S. Experiencing a new culture is not so new to me anymore. However, culture is always a topic at length or in depth, and I’m still learning it. Apparently learning German culture is one of the most important tasks and also goals during this trip, including the German language of course.

         I picked up a little German when I was in Switzerland. When you’re learning a language, you’re actually already learning a culture. English is my second language, so I did not have the advantage of being familiar with German and English words. It was a really hard situation to be an Asian learning a complete different language who was surrounded by students who had learned some German during high school or who had mastered the same Latin language system. I felt like an Asian exchange student who was expected by her host families to learn this language (German) well. The catch-22 was that if you studied too much, some people think you are wasting your time in a foreign country; if you took it easy, someone think you are not here to study. Yes, that year was hard; I grew up from the innocent, with pain also great experience. But now I get it, I’m independent in this trip, I know what I will deal with and I’m going to be cool with it.        

        Learning language takes time, but we can learn faster and deeper if we live in that environment. We don’t need to struggle with it if we don’t need to be the master of this language; it is more a communication tool than a subject. We could stammer in a German conversation in order to make the local people understand while English is still the mainstream in the world, which means doing whatever it takes to communicate, possibly as a last resort using English to explain and make jokes about ourselves. I think it is ok even like this. We learn, we fail, we laugh and we learn.

        I have taken German 121 in spring semester; it was not hard for me because of my basic knowledge of German. But from now on, it will get harder and harder, and I will skip German 2 to German 3 in the fall semester, which means I have to make up the missing part by myself. So hopefully I can get enough in this trip to make my future study easier.

        For the culture part, I think everything will be much truer when we indeed experience it. All I know about Germany so far is just some shallow things; I want to know more about its secret beauty and also its dirty side. So I will go there, see it, listen to it, taste it, feel it and write about it.

       Those are pretty much my academic goals for this summer. Of course, I have more personal goals. I love classical music and I played piano for seven years mostly Bach and Mozart; before I came to the U.S., I almost did go to Poland for a music college. The reason I didn’t go there was music was too important to me and I was afraid to fail myself there. That was a bad excuse but I always believed if I had this fate with music, we would eventually meet each other someday. So as the origin of classical music, Germany is one of my dream places to visit. It’s not just about a music dream; it’s a place to allow me to think about my life and future, or maybe it’s a place to bear a dream. So I take it as a goal of searching goals.

        At the beginning of this essay, I said I was trying to avoid thinking about the coming adventure because it could be unexpected and unpleasant. But the truth is that’s also what I love about. I guess I’m a person who longs for great encounters and the so-called “miracles” which could bring my life to a higher level spiritually. Accidents are not good, especially those unexpected results we learn from movies, but I believe in the good in accidents just like I have some faiths in fate. It’s a trip of spiritual travel. Every trip is a spiritual travel.

       Finally, I think I’m trying to prove myself subconsciously by doing this trip. A long time ago, I couldn’t say I failed that journey, but I lost some part of myself in that beautiful land of Europe. I was daydreaming in my Swiss school, I walked down by Seine riverside like a frustrated poet, I was too scared or upset to be alone in Rome street, so I hid myself in the hostel for two days. I mean things just happened, I couldn’t control the past, but I can look forward to the coming. I just watched the classic romance and conversational movies Before Sunrise and Before Sunset, and I was especially touched by the latter one which was filmed in Paris. I felt sad about the nine years’ loss between the lovers, what passed is past. But I was also inspired from the message that we shouldn’t miss the beauty in life. This time I’m going to Switzerland and Paris again after the German study, going over the old ground, even I can’t get the old me back, I will become the new me. Starting from Germany, it’s a trip of finding myself.

      At the end, there’s no need to talk about the upcoming trip now, I will just wait, and I know it’s worth it.

German 529 assignment：what if I grew up in another country?

      The first time I heard the paper’s topic from my classmate, I was thinking about what if I was born in a western country--say Switzerland or America. Apparently, as a home-grown Chinese, there’s no big differences between Switzerland and the United State to me--they’re both western countries, they share the same European ancestry, they have similar culture, and they’re the only two foreign countries I know better than others.

      Then I had a second thought, according to what we have been studying from eastern Germany’s history, this topic is asking us to talk about the state systems. Yes, I’m from a communist state, the way I think about this question can be very different from the other American students. In our Chinese text book, there’re something we always keep in mind— “ We must integrate the universal truth of Marxism with the concrete realities of China, blaze a path of our own and build a socialism with Chinese characteristics--that is the basic conclusion we have reached after reviewing our long history.” And yes, the communist state I was born in is unique in the world, it’s not the same thing as some western people think about predecessor of Russia—the Soviet. In consideration of my English skills and culture understandings, I think I didn’t get a lot from the book and the additional article precisely, but one thing for sure, I totally understand the writers’ feelings, the feeling of standing between socialism and capitalism.

       If I haven’t been living in both Switzerland and the U.S. for a year, I might feel offended after reading the book after the wall or anything related to this topic. But now, I’m “a middle person”. I think I like capitalism more—I would never say this in China, a country with one-party system. Politics is always so sensitive there, you don’t have free talk which will only get you trouble; what’s more, general Chinese people don’t care about politics or any of their rights because they can do nothing about it. I like capitalism, but I don’t think I can live in a capitalism state for lifelong time. I was born and brought up in socialism and a traditional Chinese family, though I don’t know this country’s system well, I may dislike it, but I was already influenced by it in every respect. I can’t get over it.

       Obviously, the stereotype of a socialism state is relatively poor, falling behind or unstable. But this is not completely true, China is a proof –it’s on a point of transition, it’s changing faster than people thought. But for the rest of my life, I don’t think China can develop into a brand new face and people like me can also belong to a “lost generation”. It’s difficult for us to value an exact view of society; it’s difficult for us at least for me to choose a side of the two society systems. Because we know how great it feels like to live in a capitalism state, but we still hold onto our own root, our own tradition-- it’s who we are and where we are from.

If I were born in the U.S., I think I can get more freedom--we could talk about politics if we want to and we can go for what we think is better for us. We don’t need to study everything so hard like a “study machine” in school, we can learn anything we’re interested in. We study because we want to make a difference not because we have to make a living. “Just can do everything you want”—that’s a very American way to say. And “American dream” is great.

        If I were born in the U.S., I think I will feel happier. But if it happened, I will feel very pity not to know the Chinese culture. China is a great country with so long history, we have our old doctrine, like Confucian Tradition or Taoist Philosophy and so on—they’re very old, but they’re the pith of the Chinese traditional philosophy— These are something a foreigner can hardly understand if they were not born on this land. I do have pains and struggling living in my home country, but I enjoyed and got used to and this pain; it feels great to understand, accept this culture and try to make it better, it’s something only Chinese who combine knowledge of both the east and west can understand.

      The relationship between East and West Germany before is similar to the thing between China mainland and Hong Kong. In Hong Kong, the society was still run by capitalism just like British, only in the name of Chinese-Hong Kong.

      In conclusion, I think we shouldn’t judge any state systems, because they were determined by a country’s history and national condition. What a nation or a social person should do is to learn from the history lessons, to learn from the good of outside countries and make their own social systems better and their own countries stronger.